Feeling stupid. Silly. Ignorant. That’s probably for me the reason of my embarrassment, at least most times. Like yesterday, going into a shop. After all these moths not going into shops apart from grocery stores, I obviously wasn’t really used to the process anymore. I felt uncomfortable as soon as I stepped into the shop. Apart from that, I think it was already clear that I am quite ignorant when it comes to make up. And I wanted to buy some make up. That in itself is not a reason to feel embarrassed, I know and I agree. However, walking into this shop asking about different products, the sales person made me feel stupid. Well, it wasn’t all her fault. I do that to myself. She told me to try it out and I had to ask how to apply it. That just really made me feel silly. And then clumsy me I wasn’t following her orders well enough. So she decided to fix it for me. Which she should have done in the first place if you ask me, but covid-19 restrictions prevented her probably from doing that.
It says maybe more about me than about others. Why do I hate it so much to feel stupid? There is nothing wrong not knowing something. Or saying something stupid. It may not be that stupid after all, who am I to judge. I judge myself all the time. And I’m harsh when judging myself. And I have a tendency to be as demanding for every one else, and then be disappointed when they can’t live up to my extremely high expectations. How do I change this? It is probably easier to start with myself, being kinder to myself. I will try to ask as many stupid questions over the next few days. Go into random shops asking as much as I can so I get used to this again. Well, it is still a pandemic world so I might have to do some of the silly questions online. Which is not the same. We’ll see. Anyway, the question is: did I buy anything yesterday?!
